Well HELLO there! I’ve been trying to figure out how to go about telling the tale of Katherine’s bachelorette weekend in Asheville, NC. On the one hand, it was a laugh a minute and there was infinite blog fodder to be had. On the other hand, we all need to keep our jobs and
some most of our activities were less than professional (well, depending on your profession…). We had too much fun to not share it with the world, though, so here’s my attempt to gloss over the shady bits:
The Friday before Labor Day, I packed up my shortest and most see-through outfits and zipped up to Greenville to pick up the bride for the drive up to Asheville. “Zipping” was my intent, but instead I came across 8 wrecks and a normall 1 1/2 hour trip took 3. OH WELL. I decorated Katherine’s side of the car to get the mood set.
Everyone was already at the house (we AirBNB’d a PERFECT house for the weekend) and they went all out decorating it for Katherine’s arrival. There was a bit of a theme:
Ally and Eloise made the most delicious macaroons:
Being the Millennials that we are, more than one of us brought our selfie sticks. Here’s the whole gang before our first night on the town:We grabbed our cute bride and headed to Wicked Weed Brewing Co., where we all proceeded to order vodka sodas or bourbon gingers like the basics we are. Katherine made a clear tactical error. We have a history with easy-access zipper/ties. No idea who this jabroni is, but you should know that we screamed at him for ruining this masterpiece.
We stole from him to teach him a lesson. And we had a real good time with the Snapchat geo tags.
We decided to leave Wicked Weed and head to another bar, so we popped outside and tried to grab 1 Uber for all 8 of us. Emily and I were last in and we decided that we couldn’t fit, so we rode with this little old man who begged us to take his van. I told him we only had $5 cash (a lie) and he said: “Sure, I’ll take it.” Now, we didn’t realize this until later, but we probably escaped a kidnapping attempt here. You know how people who try to steal little children offer them puppies or candy inside of creepy white vans? Well, if you want to steal basic white girls in their 20’s, offer them Beyonce. Katherine’s sister Shannon, potentially the only responsible person on the trip, watched us to make sure we got into another cab to meet up with them. She says that all she saw was the man open the doors, our arms fly into the air in the universal symbol for “HELL YES,” and us literally dive in. Inside this van was a flat screen TV playing BEYONCE LIVE IN CONCERT!!! All I remember is that I was laughing uncontrollably the entire time from pure elation. Emily later told me that she was nearly convinced that it was like a mirage in the desert. THAT’S how happy we were. Finding these pictures on our phones when we got home that night was the cherry on top of our Beyonce cake. I think I did 4 somersaults in the first 3 minutes. We would fall on the floor when he turned a corner but kept right on dancing. I think I took this picture of Queen Bey to prove to the masses that it happened.The driver never once said: “Ladies, calm down.” He could have taken us all the way to Florida and I don’t think we would have noticed.
This is about the time Emily became overwhelmed with how amazing the cab ride was. I’m 127% positive she screamed “I CAN’T EVEN” after this picture was taken.
The driver poked his head through the partition and said: “I’ve been around the block 4 times now, do you want to go again?” If Katherine had been with us, we would have undoubtedly said yes. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed and we decided to go inside the Biergarten to join our friends. I threw him $2 for great services and we piled into the bar, sweating and panting. And that, children, is how we survived a kidnapping attempt (by scaring the kidnapper into giving us back).
Emily and I still had the spirit of Bey in us, so we all continued the dance party. Katherine and her maid of honor/sister, Shannon! The next day, we rolled ourselves to brunch and then took a stroll around Asheville. We found BABY PUPPIES and had a hard time putting them back.
We had to leave the pups and continue on to the Amazing Pubcycle. Pubcycles are SO. MUCH. FUN. There were 3 other people, but we took over the show and made the driver play Beyonce over the speakers. Duh. We headed to The LAB after for drinks and a snack and an amazing time. The food is ridiculously good.
We had a fancy dinner at Table, where we had another delicious meal. The we popped back to the Biergarten for more dancing. Someone had fun all by herself: Before she accidentally smashed 3 glasses on the floor:
Her classic move. Then…..the night got un-bloggable.I’ll just leave it at this: we didn’t start out the night smelling like Juicy Couture perfume and daddy issues, but we certainly ended it that way. I had so much fun I’m still not sure I’ve recovered. Everyone pitched in and created a slam dunk of a weekend for our sweet Spong, and I can’t wait until October 24th to do (some of) it again!